Relations between parents and children in a modern family

Abstract. The article discusses the concept of "family", its functions, types, types of relations between parents and children, as well as parenting styles. The article also provides recommendations on the interaction of parents with children.

Keywords: Family, relations, children, education, family relations.

The family is one of the oldest and most important social institutions. This Institute has passed a difficult way of development: from tribal forms of hostel to modern forms of family relations. It is the institution of the family that is most carefully studied by scientists and this is not accidental. This is due to the fact that the family is the bearer of cultural patterns that are transmitted from generation to generation, as well as the most important condition for the socialization of the individual. In the family, a person learns certain social roles, as well as gets his first life experience and basic behavior skills. But it is worth noting that the family has a dual character. On the one hand, the family is a social institution, and on the other – a small group, which has its own laws and patterns of development. Therefore, the family depends on the social system, economic, political and religious relations [3,С.71].

Family called social associations, which are based on mutual assistance, moral responsibility and community life of its members. In essence, the family is a system of relations between husband and wife, parents and children, based on marriage or consanguinity [2,С.24].

Thus, we can deduce a General definition of the modern family - a small social group, which is based on marriage and consanguinity, and its members are United by housekeeping, mutual moral and material responsibility.

Most of his life the child spends in the family and it has the longest impact on him in comparison with  other institutions of education. The family forms the personality of the child, he gets his first life experience and thanks to the family makes small steps into adulthood [4,С.87].

Every member of society, in addition to social status, ethnicity, property and material status, from birth to the end of life has such a characteristic as marital status. For a child, the family is the environment in which the conditions of his physical, mental, emotional and intellectual development are formed. Parents are the first social environment for the development of a child, which ensures the satisfaction of almost all of his needs, including love and affection, security and protection.       

Family is a system of relationships. In a family, not only its members are important in themselves, but also the relationship, the connection between them. None of the family members can exist independently from each other, only in the interaction of the family is built, as well as supported by its well-being and prosperity. The life of the modern family is characterized by multilateral relations: socio-biological, political, economic, moral, religious, psychological relations [1,С.52].

But it is worth noting that at the moment the family is undergoing serious changes due to the current situation in Russia (political aggravation, economic crisis, ethnic conflicts, etc.), in connection with which the functions of the family are changing, there is a reduction in its size, a change in the type of leadership [5,С.119]. Because of economic instabil children, and because of this increased conflict in the family between spouses, parents and children. Education outside the school has significantly weakened, which has led to the destruction of the relationships in the system "school – family – community". Unfortunately, it is now necessary to recognize that the family ceases to perform educational functions, and this indicates that there is no strong connection between children and parents in the modern family.

An important function in the family performs communication. Communication between parents and children has some features: family communication should have the character of intimacy, cover all sides of the child, his social roles, through communication parents can regulate the child's attitude to the world, help him cope with the difficulties that met the child on his life on the way.

But sometimes communication in the family can be complicated for some reason. This is due to the fact that communication between parents and the child falls on the second half of the day when family members need rest. Also, the reason may be a large household employment of parents, lack of time or an overabundance of communication per day [6,С.96].

Due to the fact that family members interact every day there is a system of intra-family relations.

Types of relationships play an important role in the family, especially if there are children in it, so do not start a family relationship, you should monitor them in time and, if something is wrong, correct. Thus, it can be concluded that the atmosphere of the family, her way of life and family relations are of great importance. Parents are the first social environment where the child gets, so it is important that they are able to build relationships correctly, so that he can trust them, and not be afraid. Of course, all the difficulties can not be avoided, but it is important that parents are able to solve them correctly and rationally [8,С.7].

To create positive and favorable child – parent relations, it is mainly necessary to take into account the family way of life, parenting style, mutual understanding and competent relationship. But not everyone can do it. Therefore, we have developed recommendations for parents that can facilitate their interaction with children. List the main:

1. Under no circumstances should not resort to physical action, it is necessary to calm down and look at the situation from the other side.

2. Try to talk to the child tactfully, do not use harsh expressions in his direction, so as not to cause him psychological trauma.

3. Do not scold your child in public because he or she may become withdrawn or it may contribute to the development of low self-esteem.

4. Try to devote more time to the interests of the child, his circle of friends.

5. If you understand that you are wrong about the child, you must have the courage to admit it to him.

6. Learn how to properly criticize the actions of the child, do not focus only on his shortcomings, look for the positive side.

7. Always try to give your child the right to choose.

8. Build communication with the child on the explanation and analysis of the situation, he must understand what you require from him.

9. Do not leave the child without praise and encouragement.

10. In communication, avoid comparing the child with other children, in order not to contribute to its closeness.

11. Do not demand from it at once ideal execution of your request.

12. As often as possible, tell your child that you love him, focus on his importance and values in the family.

13. Do not clarify the relationship with other family members in front of the child, so as not to contribute to the development of anxiety symptoms in him.

14. Respect the personal space it, you can control the child, but to go into personal matters, you should not.

15. Do not indulge the whims of the child, otherwise he can start to use it.

Thus, we see that the relationship between parents and children is a complex and multifaceted work, all parts of which are interrelated and interdependent. This is a long and painstaking process that requires maximum effort.

The developed recommendations on the interaction of the family with the child will contribute to the creation of warm and trusting relations between them, as well as the formation of a favorable family situation.

List of used literature:

1. Antonov A. I. Family disorganization//the Functioning of the family/edited //AI Antonov. M. – 1990.

2. Azarov Yu. P. Family pedagogy/ Yu. S. Azarov - M., 1989., - 315c.

3. Afanas'eva T. M. Family //study guide for. – 1988. – P.

4. Bern E. Games that people play. Psychology of human relationships. – Litres, 2016.

5. E. S. Bruskova Lesson after school(the education of children in the family). – 1987.

6. Winnicot D. V. Conversation with parents //M: Independent firm “Class. – 1994.

7. Varga, D. family matters: TRANS. with Weng. – Pedagogy, 1986.

8. Famine Si Family and marriage: historical and sociological analysis. – SPb.b: too TK Petropolis, 1998.